Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Will they ever learn?

So if you know me you know the history, if you don't here is a quick recap. My dad had a drinking/fighting problem for many years. He was in prison for 6 years from the time I was 12 until I turned 18. He got out just in time to see me graduate. He's not a bad man, just stubborn and very simple minded. His way or no way pretty much. I always went to visit him once a week and we remained as close as you can given the situation. Our relationship is very odd but long story short he has gotten pulled over 4 times now including this Saturday when he actually got into an accident. He fears he will go back to jail now since this is his 4th driving on a suspened liscense. Years ago I would have cried and tried everything I could possibly do to find a way to get him out of this. I think that this and other things may be cause to my serious anxiety disorder, the constant worries of will he go away again for a long time and when will I see him again, he is so unhealthy will he survive? I was constantly nagged daily with these worries which now I realize I could not prevent or control. Now that I have a daughter I would never put her thru anything like that or want to be away from her. I just don't understand how or why he would or could have allowed these thing to happen over and over. Why wasn't he worried he wouldn't see his kids, grandkids I just don't understand!
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